Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Adventure Time: Jake's Perfect Sandwich

Jake's Perfect Sandwich

Well, how about that? It really does glow...

I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong. It's NOT crappy Photoshop skills. It's magic. Pure, unadulterated magic.

What you'll need:


- 1 loaf of bread (I used calabrese)
- 2 eggs, hard boiled
- 1 beef steak
- 1 boneless, skinless chicken breast
- 6 slices of bacon
- 1 Roma tomato
- 6 sandwich-sliced pickles (I prefer dill)
- 1 sweet onion, sliced
- Cream cheese spread
- Dill weed
- Salt and pepper if desired
- Lobster soul optional (if it's in season. It wasn't where I live.)


Large saucepan
Cooking vessel
Bread knife
Paring knife
Frying pan
Baking sheet

Step 1: Get into the zone. [Not pictured. Use your imagination.]

Step 2: Get the saucepan on the stove, fill it with water and sous vide the steak by putting it in a plastic bag and sucking the excess air out. 

Step 3: Insert into the water and cook to your desired temperature. (Here's a handy webpage to help with that.)

After the meat is sous vide, place it in a frying pan with butter until there is a sear on both sides.

Step 4: Cut the loaf down the middle horizontally.

Step 5: Set your oven to broil, and place the loaf on a baking sheet on the highest rack of your oven for 1-2 minutes, or until the bread is nice and toasted.

Step 6: Cream cheese! Pickles for my boy Prismo, and some dill!

Step 7: Diced boiled eggs! Bird from the window!

Pictured below: how to catch a bird from your window.

To prepare the chicken breast, sprinkle on some salt and pepper and bake in an oven safe dish with a small amount of water at 375°f for 30 minutes.

Step 8: Common cucumber [not pictured. For, reasons.], sliced roma tomatoes, sweet yellow onions!

Step 9: [Salt, instead of tears] for salt, steak prepared sous vide.

Step 10: Bacoooooon!

Step 11: Eat the entire thing yourself. Or, if you're sane, split it with a friend. I, myself, have a lovely guinea pig boyfriend (hence the no pickles or onions on one side, because he's lame).


For the source to this random ass recipe, click here


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